Friday, July 17, 2015

Eighteen Months... A Month Early :) --- And A Glorious Unfolding (pt 1)

Note: It will actually not be 18 months until August...I had my timing off... :) but I had already written the blog before I realized it and I didn't want to wait another WHOLE month!....So I decided that it would be much easier to change the title instead.... :)


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Eighteen months. A year-and-a-half. I am trying to decide which one sounds shorter. And decide on neither. I like the sound of "8 years, and some change," as Samuel puts it. No, I guess I don't really like that either. Doesn't matter. It is what it is. 
But what a somber way to start this blogpost. It seriously has gone fast....and at the same time stretches endlessly out in front of us. [sigh]

But whichever way we look at it, the reality of our lives is our son is in prison for a very, very long time. It seems so harsh at times. My husband said recently that if punishment was the objective...a couple of years would have done that. Easily. But we sense deep in our souls...this is not just about punishment. God has GREATER more HOLY objectives that go way beyond our understanding.

We have settled into a routine. All things do...whether we like it or not...our 'new normal' people call it. I miss my old normal. Well. that's not completely true. Because -- we have changed much. All three of us...and I wouldn't go back. God has been too good...done so much, blessed and broken and bottled our tears. But oh...how I long for His return. I bet you do too. :) Things are getting more and more frightening out there. But, that topic is for another blog. :)

A lot has happened in these last few months. I will try to remember most of it. I write scraps of things down to put in the blog. I post things on facebook so I can remember some of them. I pray and ask God to show me what to write.

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I wanted to start out with this post from Matt Herbster: (shared with permission).

So appreciate and value this perspective. From my own experience, I can most assuredly say, this is truth!

Two years ago today, Julie (39 years old and my wife of almost 18 years), went to be with the Lord after a 10 month battle with colon cancer. There is absolutely no way to describe to you what it feels like to lose your wife and lose the mother to your 5 young children. The hurt lessens, but it never really stops. But you know what else never stops? The overwhelming confidence that God is forever good and faithful! “Strength for today bright hope for tomorrow!” Psalm 40:5 says, “You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of the, yet they are more than can be told.”
Shortly before Julie died, I had these blue (for colon cancer) bands made. They say “Trust and Fight.” Trust God completely and fight cancer aggressively was our motto. I decided to keep wearing the band because I need the reminder daily to trust God and fight the good fight of faith. I don’t want to forget the lessons learned through Julie’s 10 month battle with cancer and the months after her death. What are those lessons?
Lesson #1: Trust His Word – when He says He will work all for good – he means ALL and he means for GOOD. I had no idea how God was going to fulfill this promise and I still don’t understand it all, but He IS working it all for good. When God says He will remain faithful – you can bank on it. One of primary ways God has shown His faithfulness and goodness to me is by bringing an amazing lady into our family. I can’t explain to you the blessing Tiffany has been. It would be impossible to describe to you all that she has taken on and handled with unparalleled grace. At every turn she has embraced this situation as her assignment from God. God’s goodness to me has been most evident to me recently in bringing Tiffany into my life. I love you, Tiffany! You are my hero.
Lesson #2: There are a lot of hurting people - When we are told that God will comfort us so we can comfort others –it is true (II Corinthians 1)! God has provided countless opportunities for me to share and seek to be a comfort to others. I pray I will continue to grow in being able to “weep with those who weep.” To Dave, Brian, Brian, Thomas, Gary, Steven and Jason (all men who have recently lost their wife): I’m praying for you consistently that God will be your comfort and hope!
Lesson #3: Keeping a Biblically informed perspective on life is crucial every single day!
Romans 8:18 – “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall follow.” God knows what he is doing. According to Paul, the difficulties we are dealing with here are “momentary and light” (2 Cor. 4:17-18). “Set your affection on things above” (Colossians 3). If we truly believe that God is in control, we will not fall apart when things are falling apart all around us. A trial may rock our world, but it should not shatter our faith. Bitterness, discontentment, anger and depression only come when we refuse to filter our circumstances through the grid of God’s Word. Truth provides perspective so we can view the trials of this life through the eyes of a sovereign God. “Walk by faith, not by sight” (II Cor 5:7). I need to be in God’s Word every single day so my thinking (perspective) is informed correctly. Don’t undervalue the importance of the Scriptures! Your perspective will be completely off if you are not immersed in the Truth of God’s Word. Remember, understanding God is not a prerequisite for trusting God!
Lesson #4 Love and serve your wife! You have no idea how much time you have left. Don’t take her for granted. Serve her in the home. You’re not too important or “manly” to help around the house. You may think you know how much your wife does at home, but I doubt it. She does more than you think. Don’t belittle her, berate her or criticize her. Everyone should know that you know that she is the best thing that has ever happened to you! Take time today to express that to her! Husbands, take time every day to clearly show your wife how much you appreciate her. You need her more than you realize.
Thank you to so many of you who have faithfully prayed for our family. We could not have made it without your prayers. “My heart is fixed, I will sing and give praise to God!” Psalm 57:7
What God ordains is always good! This truth remains unshaken!
No comment needed. None, except... AMEN. 
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I will just start with some posts I have made over the past few months to give you an update:
I want to share a couple of highlights and updates about Samuel.
1) So we had a great visit with Samuel (and Tay) this past weekend. Before we left Samuel turned to dad, and asked, "Dad, are you happy?" Dad assured him he's trying... tongue emoticon ...then Samuel said, "I am!" When I asked why - rhetorically - he simply stated, "Because our family is closer than it's ever been, and I am closer to Jesus than I have ever been!" Then he went on to remind us about the ending to a movie we had seen some time ago, called Last Flight Out, where a missionary doctor gets shot by drug lords in Columbia. As he is dying in the arms of the unsaved pilot he has been witnessing to, the doctor tells the pilot that, "I am in the safest place I can be..." (even though he knows he is dying), ..."because I am RIGHT in the center of God's Will!" Well Samuel said the same is true for him! Praise the Lord - that makes ME happy! grin emoticon
2) He has been rather hungry at times because of getting shorted on food servings (by servers trying to be "funny"), or sometimes they just don't get enough food (the prison throws it away rather than let the guys eat it. So if there are only 2 slices of bread eaten out of a loaf - they throw it away. If there are 30 cinnamon rolls left...they throw them away). And now that Samuel is not working in the kitchen he doesn't get extra food. So he's hungry (and skinny) and they don't get much protein... So, God used some very kind and generous people to put money on his account (we haven't been able to do that for months...) so he can purchase some extra food to have in his cell for when he gets hungry at night; such as peanut butter and crackers, beans and rice, ramen noodles, etc...Our hearts continue to be HUMBLED and OVERWHELMED at the kindness of our God to us through others. Praise the Lord.
3) Some of the guys like to pick on Samuel - mostly over that "he works too hard and makes them look bad." (Seriously!) smile emoticon But one guy in particular, "B" has been rather mean, but, he IS getting out in 27 days. Samuel said yesterday, that B was rubbing Samuel's nose in the fact that he still has 9 years to serve and that he, B, gets out in just a few weeks. Samuel told him that he is really happy and excited for him. The guy replied with, "You're an IDIOT!" lol After a few more choice sentences from B, Samuel told him that it brings him joy to think about B being out, and getting a fresh start, and getting a job, and going on with life... B just looked at him and said again, "You're still an IDIOT!" Samuel just laughs. He knows that even in small little ways like that, he can show he's different and hopefully will get to tell B why before he leaves...please pray for an opportunity. They work together in laundry every day.
Sorry for the length of this update...we want you to know how much we appreciate your kindness to and prayers for our family. It means so much.
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"Lord, thank You for the great love You lavished on us when You sent Your Son to die and be resurrected so that we could be with You eternally. In response, help us to love others. Lord, we want to be like You.
Embracing God’s love for us is the key to loving others." ~Priceless Sims
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 · 11
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13 Months Down. 107 to go. God is good.
‪#‎february17th‬
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Not sure if you know who Pastor Saeed Abedini is, but he is imprisoned in Iran (he is an American) for his faith. We pray for him and his family constantly. He could use your prayers too. As soon as I start to feel sorry for myself...I think of him and his family, and the AWFUL conditions he is imprisoned with--as well as not ever being able to see his wife and children.

Free Saeed.


The wife of an American pastor imprisoned in Iran said prison guards are threatening to extend the sentence for her husband who was detained in 2012 over his...











This hymn has brought much comfort to us:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.
Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge!

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Our most EXCITING news happened in March. We became first-time home owners! :)
As of March 23, 2015, 5:30pm, we are the proud (and happy) owners of this home @ N7461 County Rd. H, Elkhorn, WI 53121!!
Praise the Lord for His provision! What a journey~but we are so thankful!

















The bedroom. We still need to get bi-fold doors on the closet.

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We didn't get to spend Easter Day with Samuel, but we got to speak with him on the phone...and as always he's very near to us in heart. ♥


Just as He said! I am so glad to be serving a Risen Savior rather than a dead poet/prophet/sage/scholar/leader/wise-man - or any other personage - living or dead! God paid too High a Price - by sending His Own Beloved Son, to pay for and die for my sins - for there to be any other way to Heaven. Do you know Him?

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In April we had the privilege of singing in Charissa and Alan DeJesus' wedding. They are dear friends of ours, and Charissa is one of Samuel's best friends and like a sister to him. :)
It was beautiful!



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April 17th--14 Months Down. 106 to go. God is good. #feb17th

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Dear Family,                               May, 2015

Things are going well here. I really miss you guys. Time is getting harder now that the honeymoon period is over. Reality has set in. But this is where I as a human need to let go and let God take over. I knew this day was coming but I wish it would not have come so soon.

On the good side of things, I only have 106 months, then you get to see me come home. I still wish I didn't have that long left. 

Other than that, things are going pretty well. The guys in laundry are still not talking to me, but that really shows the maturity level of the guys I work with. It's nice having G (G is the CO in charge of laundry) back down at laundry, it gives me someone to talk to.

This afternoon at one o'clock I played two games of basketball with Vince. Well, sad to say he won both games. Then at 5:30 we played Around the World...we had a lot of fun. Vince went to Community Service at 6:30 after dayroom, so I thought I could write this long overdue letter to my wonderful family. :)

I hope you had a good Mother's Day. Wish I was out to spend it with you both. But...getting to talk to the BEST mom in the world made it a little easier for me. Every day I thank God for you, Mom.

Well, it's 7:14, and Vince wants me to have a Bible Study ready when he comes back...so I am going to sign off for now.

In Love and in Christ,
Your Loving Son,
Samuel Lee Shelton

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Mother's Day & Father's Day are probably the hardest for us. I know I don't need to explain. I also know that there are also a lot of other Moms & Dads that have it worse than we do. Our hearts go out to them. ♥♥♥



This is MY Mother's Day... :) I am blessed! ♥



Click on "older posts" below to go to 

PART 2



































Eighteen Months... A Month Early :) --- And A Glorious Unfolding - PART 2

And Father's Day ♥



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In May we were off Facebook and I completely forgot about
posting about 15 months. So I will do it here! :) (This is an older pic
from a previous visit, but it's one of my favorites).

May 2015 - 15 Months Down. 105 to go. God is good. #feb17th


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Here's some recent letters from Tay. (He gets out in August)! Tay will be living
with his mom in Milwaukee. Please pray for him, as he will be confronted
with some of his old "friends" and some of the old temptations.
We are still planning on trying to help them move down here. 
We have really grown to love him. ♥









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I LOVE the Magic of Ordinary Days... ♥




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Dear Family,                                       June, 2015

This week was one of the better weeks I've had. I was able to share the gospel with a guy on my quad and he seemed really open. We have continued to talk. I think he may be getting close to receiving Christ.

Another thing that happened was I was asked to preach a message that I was not prepared to give...but I had just finished reading Psalms 43. So God just really started a fire and I preached the Words of God. It's like I wasn't even talking...God just took control!! It was the BEST feeling that I've ever had! – Just letting the Holy Spirit take control.

In other news from prison... :) – my job is going well. I had a really good week at work. Last night I was finishing eating and where we put the trays was all cluttered from other inmates not putting their trays away right. So I asked one of the COs if I could go get some gloves and fix the mess. She said yes, so I did...and later she came and found me and thanked me for being a help. Just another way to let the Lord shine through me.


Also, this was the first week that Pastor Yowell came on Wednesday for Bible Study. It was good to see him and hear what he had to preach. He started with the Book of Genesis. It was a really good study for us three guys who were there.

As I'm writing this letter, I am listening to Christian Radio. It really has been a life-line during my time. The song I am listening to right now says to live life like I'm not scared...and give (to others) when it's not fair. Good reminder.

Well, I need to go for now. Hope you guys are doing well.

                                     Love Your Son,
                                      Samuel Shelton

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I wanted to post these pics above (they are from a post I made on Wednesday night, July 15th) in reference to a somewhat dangerous situation Samuel is in at the prison. I was so touched and humbled by the amount of people that acknowledge that they are praying for us...I wanted to post it here as a public THANK YOU. There is absolutely NO WAY we could do this thing without YOU.

Here is the backstory: Samuel has been working in Laundry for several months, and for the most part has loved it. At least the work part. And he gets along very well with the CO in charge, "G" referenced in his letter in part one of this post. Samuel is the only white guy down there. Usually that doesn't matter a whit to him -- or us...but if the situation was reversed...I am certain somebody would be crying "RACE!!!" and be suing the prison, the guards, the inmates, the bugs, and the shrubs.
OK.
Slight exaggeration. Slight. But they have taunted him, yelled at him, pushed him around, and now for the past month or so...they collectively...don't speak to him. Not a word. Neither do they speak to him on the quad, in the dayroom, or in Rec. That doesn't matter too much to him...but it is rather annoying.
He does most of the work....and they are content to let him do so. G is content too...because he knows Samuel will do anything he tells him to do, and do it well, and that he can trust him. Therefore he gives him all sorts of special projects and tasks to do. Of course that inflames the guys too. They even tell him to stop working so hard - because he makes them look bad. 

ON A SIDE NOTE: In May, on the Tuesday before Mother's Day (I remember, because it was my Mother's Day present :) )...I was sitting in the car outside the prison getting ready to go in....and out walks a white haired gentleman who I am almost SURE is G. So I call out my window and asked him if he was "G". Sure enough he was...and when I told him who I was...he went on and on about Samuel. He told me what a hard worker he is and that he knew he could give him any job in the prison and knows that it would be done well. He said the other guys pick on him, but he has a good sense of humor and takes it well. He said he is well-groomed and has good hygiene and is a good example to the other guys. He told me he is doing good and is going to make it...that he is going to do good when he gets out - of that he was confident. You don't know what those few kind words did for my heart. It was a gift from the Lord.

Well things have taken a very serious turn...and much of it has to do with all the underhanded stuff that goes on behind the scenes...black market stuff, trading, favors...Samuel stays COMPLETELY away from that stuff too...and they hate him. And they are sure he is snitching on them.

Of course if he was...they would all be in trouble, possibly put in the hole, and probably fired. Well it has all come to a head, as we have learned that the guys in the laundry have paid someone to put a hit on Samuel. As far as we understand, that hit is just beating him up or hurting him. Samuel did go to G and tell him finally, and G said "Sounds like a Unit problem." Samuel was disappointed in his response, but he says that is pretty normal...they don't like to get involved in anything. His friends talked him into going to Captain Goodall and tell him everything, so Samuel did. But it's one of those situations where you are "cursed if you do...and cursed if you don't"...Now that will even make him more of a marked man, but hopefully some of the COs will kinda watch out for him too. Captain Goodall was going to be "speaking" to the guy involved, and told Samuel if something does happen, the guy will be in extra trouble, since he would have been warned ahead of time.
[I am not going to tell you the sarcastic response that leapt to my mind]. 

I am also not going to tell you what that does to my mother's heart...but you can imagine...and there is not much we can do but pray and advise him. The first guy they tried to pay to do it - Samuel had actually befriended some time before and he refused and he is the one that told Tay to tell Samuel about the hit. The problem is he didn't tell him that they did find another guy to do the hit. The guy is on Samuel's quad...and Samuel knows what he looks like, so that is good.
Samuel has been trying to avoid fights of course, at all costs, but if something happens and he goes to the hole (all guys involved in a fight go to the hole until they figure who did what)...he told us he is just going to tell them everything. If he is in the hole anyway, and they are already trying to beat him up when he HASN'T snitched on them...he said he is holding nothing back.

His father is going to give him a little instruction about what to do in the 'event of an actual emergency' tomorrow during our visit. :)

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR HIM!!!

UPDATE: Today's visit went very well, and Samuel was very cheerful. He amazes me. So the Captain had a talk with the guy who was paid to be beat Samuel up. Hopefully it will end there. He really really doesn't want to quit his job. He is not a quitter and that is hard for him. He will be working one more week in Laundry. We are praying that God works out the situation that he doesn't HAVE to quit. G is really pleading with him not to...that if he does the other guys win. Samuel is seeking God's wisdom. If he quits his job he loses all pay for 90 days even if he gets another job. If he can get into one of the Tech courses he would like to do that to add to his education, and he wouldn't lose his income. One of the guys from Laundry went to the "hole" last night for fighting...so maybe God will remove them one by one ;). Thank you for continuing to pray for him.

Samuel continues to trust the Lord. He keeps reminding us that God is in control. He keeps quoting his life verse with us:


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Before I close...many people have been talking about the Duggars. I am not going to get into all of that....I do feel sorry for how they are being treated by Christians.  But that isn't why I am bringing this up. I am bringing it up because of a couple of quotes I want to share from a blogpost I read by Trudy Metzger on the subject of of being a victim, and being the perpetrator. You can read the complete blogpost below if you wish. She wrote 3 pertaining to the Duggar situation. She wrote the second one after going from a couple hundred folks who leave comments ...to over FORTY THOUSAND that night. Obviously this is a subject people are very passionate about. She makes a couple of corrections as well about erroneous information she put about the legal aspect in her first blog. Here is the blogpost:
http://splash4ripples.com/2015/05/23/josh-duggar-who-will-join-the-crucifixion-march/


Here is the quote:
"What Josh did was very wrong. He ‘owned’ that. He has made no excuses, that I’ve seen or heard. He has not blamed his victims. And he was a minor. Fourteen, my friends. Fourteen… That is incredibly young! In my home right now I have a thirteen year old, and he is very young. He has the advantage of talking openly with me and daddy about sex, but even so, he is very young.
Even where I was victimized, there is no way anyone will convince me that the fifteen year old who violated me fully understood, or understood at all, the consequences of his actions. I’m sure he knew what he did was wrong, but understanding what it was he did to me… not possible. So I forgive him, with boundaries.
When I see Christians throwing their rocks at Josh, it troubles me. I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I believe that Jesus died for all my sins. I believe that He transforms lives, and that people change. Even those who molested. If Jesus cannot do that, then He is neither God, nor the Messiah. Then Christianity is a farce. Either He can save and restore all, or He can save and restore none. There is no middle ground.
The popular belief of ‘once a molester, always molester’ is a tragic life sentence to put on anyone, and a slap in the face of God/Jesus. And I do not support it. I never have, and I never will. Admittedly I feel most hope for those who come forward on their own with their sins, repent, and ask for help. I also feel hope for those who are caught at a young age and are forced to get help. They have the advantage of not establishing life patterns. And the manipulative, lying ones… they’re not repentant or looking for change; I am not speaking of them.
But the notion that they are all molesters for life is not truth. I doubt we can begin to grasp the impact that kind of teaching has on people. So I will look every young offender in the eye, if they are repentant, and tell them I believe in them. I want them to believe in themselves. I want them to believe they can overcome and are not sentenced to a life of crime. I want them to set a higher standard for themselves. And I want them to look to God, through Jesus, for that strength. I want them to understand consequences and comply with the laws of the land, because it is scriptural, but I want them to know they can be free, that they never have to do it again. So, yes, I am willing to swim upstream and speak against the tide of judgement, condemnation and hopelessness. Because I believe in God, and what He can do."
Trudy is a "victim." So aren't Lee and I both. But she, nor we like being called a victim. 
We've been victimized, but we are NOT victims. Nor do we like others being our "voice" as she mentions in her post. People like to speak up and speak out on the behalf of others. 
Do you know how many of my black friends do NOT appreciate Jesse Jackson, or 
Al Sharpton speaking out and speaking up on their behalf? 

I said it once in a previous blogpost, but it bears repeating here... You are either a Victim or Victor -- but it all depends upon YOU and your attitude about your circumstances. Victims allow themselves to be victimized over and over again by their lack of forgiveness and self-pity. I ain't just throwing that out there...I'm speaking from EXPERIENCE. VICTORS, on the other hand, forgive those who have sinned against them (it doesn't have to be this type of situation). Victors know their value and worth are in Jesus Christ and His love for them and the payment He paid for THEIR sins -- and NOT in the actions that others have taken against them in hurting them. Victors know that God WILL work all these things out together for their good. And Victors are happy. I mean really happy - the deep-down joy type...because they KNOW there is a God in control who doesn't miss one single teardrop. And He's not done with you, with your situation, and with this world. 

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So....now is time to take my own advice and remember Who's in control. :)
 This is my view every Saturday Morning:





Yep. That's it. My son's home. Racine Youthful Correctional Facility...or, more 
affectionately known to the guys as: Camp Racine. :)

But we still can't WAIT to get there. 

I want to finish by placing the words to the song, Glorious Unfolding, by Steven Curtis Chapman:

"The Glorious Unfolding"
Lay your head down tonight
Take a rest from the fight
Don’t try to figure it out
Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
‘Cause I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
We’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding

We were made to run through fields of forever
Singing songs to our Savior and King
So let us remember this life we’re living
Is just the beginning of the beginning

Of this glorious unfolding
We will watch and see and we will be amazed
If we just keep on believing the story is so far from over
And hold on to every promise God has made to us
We’ll see the glorious unfolding

Just watch and see (unfolding)
This is just the beginning of the beginning (unfolding)



Yes, most assuredly...this IS a GLORIOUS UNFOLDING.

We claim that promise of "Just wait and see, and you will be amazed."

We DO believe the story is SO FAR from OVER.

So, we are holding on to EVERY PROMISE God has made to us....because

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING...



Click on Older Posts below: It is a brief letter in Addendum





Eighteen Months....Addendum

I meant to post this letter in the blog. This is a letter Samuel wrote to someone else, but he called and read it to us to make sure it was 'appropriate' to send to the person he had in mind. I will share part of it here because we were SO blessed!

Dear_____________


.........I really wish things were different, the way my family had to leave camp. But God is in control and He knows best. One thing God has shown me is there are so many mission fields that we don't ever think of like...prisons, college campuses...and so on.

I heard people say my whole life, "How can you be a missionary in another country if you are not one in your own back yard?" This last week has really opened my eyes to the needs of people around me. I have so many chances to share Christ with people in the prison system. It is really exciting to see people hang on EVERY WORD that I say when I talk about Christ's saving grace.

I know the Lord has put me here just for that specific reason...to share the Good News of salvation. It is hard for people to understand why God lets things happen...like why I'm in here...but, part of it is my free will and my choices, and the other part is...God uses sin sinlessly. I'm not saying what I did was God's will...but that I CHOSE what I did and it was wrong. but now that I have gotten that right, the Lord has given me a BIG Mission Field I never would have thought of going to.

I kind of felt like Jonah in the way that he rebelled against God and God sent the fish (or prison in my case :) ) to show me the right way I need to go. The Lord has really changed my outlook on life and what He has in store for me. I had always wanted to be a missionary ever since I was really little. But as I got older I lost that vision and fell into sin. This sin has limited my ability to serve God in some ways.

My family and I talk about starting a farm and using to help people with addictions (kind of like RU in the Country :) ). I really think this is really the way the Lord wants me to serve Him. I'm still praying about it, will you pray for God to show me wht His will is for me to do?

(And then he writes a couple more paragraphs and signs off).

GOD IS GOOD!