I will never forget that scene - it plays in horrific slow-motion in my mind....when I let my mind go there. I can't quite help it today. As they handcuffed my son, and walked him the few steps to the door on our left - it seemed to take them forever to take those few steps - and yet it seemed like it happened in a blink of an eye at the same time.
Samuel turned and looked directly into my eyes as the bailiff opened the door and mouthed the words, "I love you." My last words to my son that day as they took him away were, "Be a Joseph, son." And then blessed numbness set in and stayed long enough to let me breathe on my own again.
It wouldn't be until months later, that Samuel would relay to us that, during that long walk with the bailiff down the underground hallway to the jail, the bailiff asked Samuel what his mother meant by those words. All I can do is smile...even then God would give Samuel an opportunity to share about God's goodness and mercy. He told him something like, "Sir I am a Christian, and I messed up and I deserve to be here, but Joseph is a man in the Bible that was imprisoned for something he was completely innocent of..." and he got to share that story on the way to prison! :) Meanwhile, we were closeted with our attorney and got to share the same story - and that we believe that God has a purpose in this that goes far beyond our understanding...He seriously believed that Samuel was going to get probation, or at least a shorter term than he did...and I believe that he was almost as shocked as we were. He was a great attorney and a good friend to us. God is so good.
So, on to the Blog....
Well, then January started getting away from me and I decided since February is Samuel's birthday month, AND the first year anniversary of his being incarcerated...it just made more sense to post then....and kinda get it all done at once!
But, I guess, if I am going to be completely honest here....I LOVE posting on this blog....annnddd dread it at the same time. It's such an emotional experience for me....sorta like tearing the scab off....over and over again. I really didn't realize how much that was true until Samuel's boss, Missy, was visiting him during his birthday week, and was teasing him about getting busy and writing letters so his Mom could do an update for the blog. :) That's when it hit me that I was just making excuses....avoiding the scab-ripping process...
I know, that sounds rather dramatic.... :-) but, those of you that know me, know this is not just pure drama...but that this has certainly been an emotionally-charged, up-and-down journey ~ with equal amounts of weeping and rejoicing.... [sigh]
Samuel has been saying lately, "Life is like a rollercoaster. We're to PRAY in the dips and PRAISE at the high points!" :)
So, let's start in December. Many of you know we started "Operation Christmas Cards for Prisoners." That was SO exciting!!
All-in-all,
33 prisoners received Christmas Cards, and many of them as much as 6
or 8 cards each! It
was quite an undertaking, because we didn't have full names, and you
must have the full name + DOC number in order to send mail. I spent
literally hours tracking down as many young men as I could by the
"clues" Samuel gave me. He either knew their first name,
last name, nickname, and what color....That's what I had to go
on...but God helped me find 33 prisoners' information! Praise the
Lord!
~AWESOME!! ~
Here's a couple of posts about that opportunity in the Facebook Group:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 17th ~10 Months Down...110 To Go...
We could certainly tell people were praying for us during the Holidays. We got to see Samuel and Devonte on Christmas day and had a wonderful time... God is good! :)
"Something I am learning as I grow older...God made the human heart to be very adaptable. It's not easy ~ and in many cases not very pleasurable...but with time and by God's grace ~ we CAN do ALL things through Jesus Christ Who strengthens us."
Dear Mom
& Dad, 12-9-14
This
weekend was kind of hard not seeing you guys. It really made me think
of how privileged I am to have you guys come and visit me every week.
The Lord really blessed me 19 years ago when He gave me to you guys. You
have really raised me in the upright way. Even if I am in prison, you
guys did what you were put on this earth for ~ to be my Mom and Dad.
I pray that through this time you guys will never change. I LOVE you
guys just the way you are. :)
Things
are going really good here. My classes should end next week sometime
I hope. Then in January I should start my last few computer classes
so I can graduate and have one of the vocational classes done. After
I finish these classes I will be trying to get into the custodial
classes. I'm saving the masonry classes for closer to when I get out.
That way things will be fresh in my mind when I get out!
WOW!!
Only two more months and it will be a year. The Lord has really been
good to our family over the past year! God has given us grace to get
through this trial.
I need to
get going for now. Love you guys.
Love,
Samuel
Shelton Joshua 1:9
For New Years, our Pastor asked for testimonies of something we were thankful for from this past year... here are all of our testimonies:
From Lee:
"It's hard to list all I'm thankful for ~ God is so good. I want to say how thankful I am for everyone who is a part of this Church. Each one of you I am thankful for ~ from the children to the aged. (You know which category you fall in :) ). I thank God for the many ways each one has encouraged us in this past 2 years. Thanks for the support and love you have shown us and Samuel. I thank God for my wife of 25 years. We have had to encourage and lift each other many times. I thank God for our son, Samuel, who is walking with his God and being a witness and a testimony to many ~ including me. God is good ALL the time, ALL the time God is good. Thank you for your prayers and support ~ they are deeply, deeply, deeply appreciated."
From Cyndie:
"I've learned a lot about grace this year ~ that....Grace is very free-ing....freeing because Jesus REALLY paid it all and said, "It is finished!" But I have lived a lifetime trying to follow a set of rules and trying to be a good Christian, a good wife, a good mother.....and came up wanting ~ lacking....and very worn out...
I suddenly found out that the Gospel ~ the Good News ~ is not just for the lost outside the church ~ but it is for ME ~ for Christians ~ to live out the Good News every day of our lives inside the church...and that good news is THERE IS THEREFORE NOW NO CONDEMNATION to them who are in Christ Jesus!! (Romans 8:1). I am learning that because It Is Finished ~ I cannot win any MORE favor by what I do ~ all the good deeds in the world ~ in the church....are not going to win me more favor with God. But, HALLELUJAH ~ there is NOTHING I can do to LOSE any favor with God either! Jesus already paid it ALL!! Jesus already bore ALL of the burden I have been so heavy laden with ~ trying to be the best Christian I can be ~ and had forgotten to....rest and abide in Him. As I am growing closer to the Lord and getting "stronger" in my faith, I am finding that it's because I am more aware of how utterly weak I am...and can do absolutely NOTHING without Him."
From Samuel
"I really want to thank the Lord for the past year. Even though I have been in prison I have grown a lot and learned a lot. There is a purpose for me being locked up and I can see that. I thank the church for your prayers and I am thankful that God blessed me with a good church family. God's shown me some areas I struggle in and I am thankful for that too. I once took for granted that I always would have a Bible and not having one and then getting one again and rereading it made me so grateful for it now and I think I have enjoyed reading it more than if I were on the outside. I am thankful for my mom and dad coming to see me all the time and for sticking with me....I love them a lot and thank God for them. One thing I am learning is that God is never early and never late ~ He's always right on time....HE is in control ALL the time. I'm in here because I messed up ~ but God is helping me make the best of it....I am excited for what the Lord is going to do....really, I am! Thank you again for praying
for me. God bless you all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a call from Devonte:
We got some really nice letters in return...All letters below are shared with permission....
From Codie
From George
From Mac
From Vince
From Lonnie (Fetti)
We love the story of Joseph ~ Shared with permission :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear
Family, 1-5-15
Things
are going well here. Yesterday was really good. Work was a lot of
fun. The extra food really helped the weekend go by faster. (He works
in the kitchen and gets extra food!) It was really good to see you
and Dad last week. I hope everything is going well for y'all.
One thing
is for sure....there WILL be an afterwords. It may take a long time,
but if we keep trusting God, He will help the time go by faster. Just
yesterday a friend and I were talking of what we want to do when we
get out. The coolest thing I heard him say was that he wanted t be a
godly father and husband. I said to him that it starts in the Word of
God. That was a big encouragement for me to hear that.
Today we
were under a Level 2 wind chill advisory. We were not allowed to go
outside. Also, I got my gloves today. Thank you guys so much.
Today I
have one class at 2:30. It's one of the better classes I've had here.
Well, it's lunch time, so I need to go. Love y'all.
Love,
Samuel
Shelton
Joshua
1:9
Other Happenings:
After a conversation with Samuel one morning...we had spent a good portion of it teasing and laughing....we hung up the phone and Lee and I marveled in wonder at how can our hearts be so broken with pain .... and so filled with joy at the same time? It is ALL God.
We had such a sweet and fun time seeing Samuel on his birthday! We got him a cheeseburger out of the vending machines and put a crunchy cheeto in it for a candle and sang Happy Birthday as loud as we could...His face was such a LOVELY shade of red....hehe
Samuel was born on February 5th and we picked him up at the hospital February 6th
We also enjoyed Valentine's Day with our "boys". They were both very cheerful, and it was a wonderful time!
Been enjoying this new song by JJ Heller and her husband Dave:
Meant To Be
Samuel has also been working in the laundry, and as of last week they "hired" him full time in the laundry so he had to quit his kitchen job. He will miss the extra food, but he really likes his laundry job. He does get to volunteer in the kitchen at times.
He also volunteers to shovel snow (of course) and to clean bathrooms. He has three computer classes he is taking as well,
and is pretty busy.
Please pray with us as we are trying to get an R.U. (Reformer's Unanimous) started in the prison. It is a drawn out process to get it approved, and will also take a small financial investment. Please pray for God to provide for this incredible ministry!
You can check it out here:
As we reflect back on this past year - all we can do is say, God is faithful... His grace truly IS sufficient. But we MUST avail ourselves of his grace:
"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of
God; lest any root of bitterness springing
up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."
~ Hebrews 12:15
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
12 Months Down ~ 108 To Go...
Please Keep Praying for Us!
Final Thoughts....
I like to send Samuel some fun & encouraging things in with the letters we send him.... :)
I just have one question before you leave our blog:
For you see, whether you have multiple trials in life, or have a pretty easy time of it; whether you have money or are broke; whether you have a dream job, dream home, dream life ~ or are hurting beyond words...when you come to the end of your life as we all will, my friend...How will you answer that question above?
If you are unsure, go here and take this quiz to see where you are in your standing before a Loving and Holy God.
http://www.needgod.com
http://www.needgod.com
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